Posted by Glenn Camp on January 07, 2004 at 12:43:02:
OH boy! Three and a half hours ago it started again. Especially afib and pvc's. Whatever name you want to call irregular beats I've got 'em. I pray they do not worsen anymore than right now and hoping they subside quickly to NSR. EP is telling me not to exceed 120 mg of Betapace twice a day. Cardiologist says take whatever is necessary to bring it under control and if taking more betapace helps take it. My wife is telling me that I'm dwelling on afib, etc. too much and that is making things worse. I'm reading too much about it on message boards, etc.. When people drop by and they ask me how I'm doing, I go into too much detail about how it affects me and also too much detail about surgical procedures that are available for a cure. She told me that others don't understand how it's affecting me and probably never will and what I tell them is going over their head.
Well she's probably right. I may be talking about it too much to the 'average' person that doesn't have a clue as to how this disease affects me. I'm not usually one to burden someone else with my problems, physical or otherwise. I usually keep these kind of things to myself and only if definitely necessary will I ever say something like when I'm in a 'full blown' attack.
Do any of you understand what I'm saying? Do any of you believe we can talk about afib and cures to the point it has an adverse affect on us? When this dadgummed mess has devestated my life the way it has and practically made me an invalid to the point I have to depend on someone to take me places, that is if I'm able to ride in a car, it has become a consuming fire raging inside. Oh relax, just relax don't give into it people tell me. It's not helping to get 'up tight' about it. HOW IN HECK CAN I RELAX WHEN I'M GULPING FOR BREATH, PVC'S TRYING TO PUNCH THROUGH MY CHEST, HEART SWAPPING ENDS WITH ITSELF,.... oh well, y'all know what I'm talking about.
No one knows, not even doctors, cardiologists and EP's included, how we feel during these attacks. They have the attitude that there's nothing to going without food or water when you are diabetic for more than twelve to fifteen hours, in some cases longer, prior to tests and you get sick as a dog going that long without food. "Oh we'll be just a little longer, you can wait" or when dye or other medications that contribute to triggering attacks are injected. They don't have a clue.
I know, I know,..... y'all say, well get maze or PVA done as quickly as possible, don't delay. I'm not delaying! I'm trying to get 'lined up' to have a procedure done to correct this problem just as fast as I can get tests and reports done and sent to the proper place. It's taking longer than I realized. Three weeks will have passed before stress test initiated. All I ever heard from was the EP's nurse that doesn't seem to know straight up from straight down and an appointment scheduler. I told his nurse two weeks ago December 22, 2003, that I needed an echocardiogram so I could send results to CC. Do you know that so far all I am scheduled for on January 13, is a stress test? Still no echocardiogram scheduled. My regular internist Dr. had told me to tell the Cardiologist what I needed that they would be the ones to do the tests, not him. I did call the cardiologist three times; his nurse called back a couple of times, then the EP's nurse called about doing a stress test. Have you all had these kind of problems? How were they resolved? All I know is that doctors have too many patients. It's all a matter of 'medical economics'. I'm convinced of that.
When I discovered this board I thought, these folks are describing my condition. I read all of the present postings one after another right down the list, the ones on the first page. I haven't even gone into archives, just starting to do that. This is the only place and the only people I've been able to vent my frustrations about this disease and have someone else understand what I'm going through. I have received so many emails of support from most of you it's unbelievable. For this I am most appreciative. Sure helps to correspond with folks with an understanding of this malady.
I know I may appear to sound negative sometimes when I post some concerns by the responses I've received, but they are primarily questions and concerns after reading/analyzing other postings.
Don't get me wrong. My wife is very understanding of my situation and she's a jewel of a lady. She doesn't like for me to be debilitated by this crap anymore than I do. Her life has been affected by my debilitating circumstances just as much as mine. She is just as upset with cardiologists and EP's that I've been seeing as I am also. All our children are concerned and affected because I cannot do things with them most of the time anymore. All of them and my wife and I have to make our plans with the possibility of instant changes if I have an attack. "Well we're going to do such and such next Friday evening"..... contingent on whether I have an attack or not. No concrete plans anymore. What a way to live huh? We have four wonderful children, never had a minutes trouble or problems with any of them. A daughter 45, son almost 41, daughter 37, and our youngest son is 34. Seven of the smartest grandchildren on earth, six girls and one grandson, ages eight through 16. How else do you think I would think about them? hehheh.....
Regards,
Glenn